Howdy do, fellow fliers!!!
What a night for reality "love" in the making!! There were a couple group dates, a one on one with Allie (which was completed by a live concert by Chicago) and finally 3 girls were left in the lurch with no date box. I would have felt worse for the 3 no daters, but Crazy Michelle was one of them, and her tirade was just funny. She stomped her feet and went upstairs TO PACK AND GO HOME because she didn't like that Jake didn't want a date with her. Hello? Crazy, party of one....(spoiler, she didn't go home....I know, shocker, huh? lol)
On the group date to the amusement parked Jake and Nanny Liz totally bonded, even though she told him NOT to kiss her unless he knew he wanted to kiss only her forever. HAHAHA!!! Um, yeah, OK!!! She proceeded to taunt him with not kissing her as they sat alone under the night sky as it exploded with a fireworks display just for the two of them. Meanwhile, the other girls (especially Princess Vienna) hated on the Nanny, what with her bachelor voodoo and all. (my words, not hers!) Vienna, by the way, revealed to Jake (dramatically, of couse) that at age 17 she was engaged to her pastor's son. She broke off the engagement and one month later he was marrying someone else. YIKES!! In rebellion, she then eloped with some guy she didn't even know in Vegas (a la Britney Spears) and 4 months later she was divorced. In a one on one moment Tenley decided she would tell Jake about being divorced but choked and lost her nerve.
We round out this week's show with Chris interrupting the cocktail party while Jake was outside with some random chick, to ask Future Bunny Rozlyn to join him outside. DUN DUN DUUUUUN!!! As we all knew by now (unless you've been hiding under a rock for the last week, which if so...OUCH!!) Rozlyn "allegedly" entered in to "an inappropriate relationship" with a Bachelor producer or staffer of some sort. Rather than just cop to it, Rozlyn's response was "I don't see what my personal life has to do with anything." and "the other girls previous relationships don't have anything to do with here." Are you FROLICKING KIDDING ME???? You weren't engaging in said activities before you got on the show. WHAT A TWIT!!! They told her to pack her bags then and there and go home immediately. Chris went outside to tell our fearless Bachelor the, um, bad? news and boy oh boy you'd have thought Chris had put Jake's balls in a vice and spun him around. When he spoke he poignantly asked "Can I get my rose back?"
So emotional ending to this weeks show. Jake is mad and sad & I feel inclined to let him take his shirt off, climb into my lap, curl into a ball and cry.
Shock, awe and anger fill the ladies when Chris and Jake finally tell them what's going on. Our Twinkettes begin crying just knowing that their future ex-boyfriend is now "brokenhearted". I don't know how to break it to them that he'll get over it in the next couple of episodes, of course it's most likely going to take kisses from all of the "ladies" (10 bucks says Nanny Liz gives in!!).
I now would like to share an open letter to all future Bachelor hopeful female people.
Dear Future Reality Dating Show Contestant:
Before wasting your time, our time and the time of the one looking for (temporary) love, we ask that you decide exactly who you are coming on the show to get it on with. We are totally cool with you lovin on (fill in the blank) but producers, gaffers, light crew, gardners, caterers, interior designers, housekeepers, maintenance workers, chauffers, helicopter pilots, etc will NOT be tolerated. (We reserve the right to add to this list of unapproved staffers as positions come to light).
Sincerely,
Mgmt
And with that, those leaving us tonight are: (insert musical montage looking back at their (not so) memorable time with us)
Michelle!!! HAHAHA....no such luck. Even after telling him she had her bags packed from her little tantrum he STILL gave her a rose!!! OY!!!
Ok, the real 2 going home are......
Ashley the teacher from Pennsylvania
AND
Christina the Restaurant Mgr from California (considering I had already forgotten who she was I'm not saddened by the loss..lol)
Next time on THE BACHELOR "ON THE WINGS OF LOVE":
Jake and a blond go bungee jumping, the girls argue about a whole bunch of stuff, Crazy Michelle is still crazy and Chris is heard saying "You know, I don't think we need to wait for a rose ceremony. I think you should go now." Aren't you just on the edge of your seat???? lol
This is your Captain of Blog. Over & out.
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